Wednesday, June 24, 2009

In The Begining

Welcome to my little blog, My little place in the world where I am trying to get a most important message out.

A little about me, hey why not, you have got this far.

I'm a 35 Year Old Male, with Lung Cancer, and I have not smoked a day in my life :) , the Cancer I have is Melanoma, I have six nasty little buggers ( melanoma lesion ) in my lung's.

So you might be thinking??? how did i get this ????? hmmmm

Well, In the Beginning.....

About 4 years ago I had a mole on my neck, it was about 3mm in size, I was at the Dr's for the flu and my GP noticed a mole on my neck and wanted to take a sample of it ......

{He wanted to do this because the Mole was no longer round, and was not flat, it had a nice Bump to it}

So he sliced a small sample of it and got it tested, it came back as nothing {yay!} But he wanted to get it removed because of the size and shape of it. So he {the GP } got it all arranged for this to happen, he said I should get a letter in a month from a surgeon.

Well 6 weeks pass and I contacted my GP again because I had not received anything from any Surgeon, so he said he would follow it up, between the GP referring me and the time I saw the surgeon it was about 18 months later, and another week I had my Operation here at Taupo, {why 18 months later, well I got "Lost" in the system, my GP does not know how it happened, but between Taupo and Rotorua, I got lost .}

So I had the operation, in and out in one day, and the Surgeon said I will get a follow up in a couple of months after everything has settled down.

So in a funny re enactment 18 months later I get a call from Waikato Hospital saying they have just received my details for a follow up after my operation inTaupo recently, I commented about the recently thing and we found out I got lost in the " System" again, I am so lucky {twice, yay}

So I went for the follow up and found that I had a small bump in my neck, which was not good, and they were concerned that the surgeon did not take enough clearance around the Mole that was removed. So they did a FNA { fine needle sample thing,} basically they put a real fine needle in the bump, stir it around a bit and get a sample of the tissue ) and then they tested it, I had to wait for the result so about an hour and a half later they told me it was Melanoma again.

I had a bunch of different scans and tests to see if it was anywhere else in my body.
Well about 6 weeks later I had the operation and had the bump removed, and then 2 months later I had a follow up and all was good.

I had to go back every 3 months for check ups and on the first 3 month check up they found another Bump, ( well this one was hard to miss, it looked like the tip of a small finger poking out of my neck, it was about 6 mm wide and stuck out about 2 mm.

So they did all the tests again and then cut the little bugger out, {yay, 3 operations for the same thing } so about 3 or 4 moths later I get a letter from the Oncology People wanting to see me,
I went and had a chat with them and they wanted to do some radiation on my neck, to make sure the cancer does not come back... so I'm like OK Zap me { well to be Honest, I was bloody scared, to be completely honest, I was scared with all my operation's }

While I was getting 4 weeks of radiation I was put up in the Loins Cancer Lodge on the Waikato Hospital Grounds { the lions Cancer lodge is a place for Cancer Patients who are having treatment, it is full of young and old people with different cancer's, and what an awesome place it is, the amazing people that work there are so helpful and help you feel relaxed}

So I had the 4 weeks radiation on my neck and oh my, what a horrible experience that was, the inside of my throat felt like it was on fire, I could not drink, water or milk, I could only drink thick liquids, like custard for example. and about 2 weeks later the outside of my neck started to blister and peel, it was so so horrible, oh and the pain, was insane and I must say, I was not a nice person, not fun to be around at all, { a complete *$@#*%^ { you can use your imagination there}

So another 4 or 6 moths later I go for my first check up after the radiation and the Dr had a good poke around and said it looks OK, but lets do another Ct Scan to have a good look.
About 3 months went by and I finally had my scan, I thought nothing of the scan, was joking with the nurse's there and walked out feeling really good about things, that was on the Wednesday, on Friday I get a call from the Oncology department and they want to see me, Hmmm, I have had a lot of scans in this melanoma fight and they have never got back to me this fast, hmmm.

So on Monday I turned up, and my happy, joking Dr was no longer happy, or joking, hmmm
He did a few little check's then told me that it has come back, { I'm thinking, ok, just cut it out again, zap me with more radiation, do what you have to do }
I asked where is it now, and he said, in my lungs, me being me asked ok, what can we do now, when do I get it removed, then he said it is Secondary Melanoma, there is 6 lesions in my lungs , and there is nothing they can do, OH, UM , I felt a hard lump in my throat, and I remembered his last words, there is nothing that they can do,

So I have had some bad times, some ruff times, and hey, we all have right,

I think the hardest thing I have ever had to do was accept that, my time is closer than it should be, wow, the more I say it, the more it sinks in, Further ..... how real can death be.

Some people say I have courage for how I am dealing with all this...... but I have not, I have a strong wonderful woman beside me, she has been there from just about day one
Without her , I honestly do not think I would be here today, and she is the main reason why I am fighting to get more out of life

But there is a saying, ..... Behind every brave man, is a stronger woman.

I know this, as I have seen this, I have this

I will try and keep this up to date as much as I can, I will have all the wonderful things I will be doing, and everything

thanks for reading


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