It was a dark and stormy night, the wind was whistling and the rain was coming down heavy , we pulled up at the hotel, an old English styled place , as well pulled up i thought, we are not going to be sleeping much here, as we checked in and walked into the room, oh crumbs , this is going to be a long night, well on cue every hours or so, we got woken up, after what seem like forever the alarm went off and i dragged my tired body out of bed, it felt like we did not sleep at all, at the air port and everyone is grumpy ( people can not do morning's ) so after an hour and a bit waiting we are on the plan, sitting there waiting as they do there check's and stuff, we get out onto the runway and i think .... will this take off be anything like sitting in a V8 Supercar???? ,will the G force be more or less, what will it be like, , I started to wake up more, thinking about this and that , what about this , what will that be like , will i get to chat to him ??? all these thoughts running around in my head, I wqas buzzing a little bit, ( well ok, alot )
We landed at the Gold Coast, Wow , it was warm, about 20 deg's , no wind, no clouds, simply beautiful, hmmm nice.
We got picked up by some old family friend's ( they meet me before i new which way way up , Man thts a few years ago now ) so after the re union and getting stuff sorted we hit the Gold Coast and had a look around, What a really nice place, I could see myself living there no problem, ( well if i did not have what i have inside of me )
So that was Saturday , on Sunday we went to Dreamworld, ( Hello, this is my kind of place ) we had so much fun and was good to feel like kid's again , letting our hair down and getting the adrenalin flowing again.
Monday ..... The day I have been waiting for. i woke up and tried to keep my excitement at controllable level.
After breakfast and finding how to get there , We got on our way, about an hour or so later we got to Ipswich , now, I was getting excited ( to put it into comparison for some people who can not comprehend it , Me meeting Craig Lowndes is like a rugby fan meeting there favorite rugby star, like a soccer fan meeting Beckham , like a fisherman getting the big black marlin , this for me , is big as huge can get )
We turned up at the Queensland Raceway, driving down the driveway , I noticed,other race teams there , 3 teams, 2 other Ford tream and one Holden tem, ( poor bugger's )
So I signed in, and got my race gear to put on, ( there were alot of people there , all in the same race gear as I was given, I asked the lady behind the desk , this is a sponsor's and fan day, they had Both drivers driving 2 cars and the flow of people was steady , One car # 888 was just sitting in pit lane, no one in it, just a few pit crew doing some stuff around it, Car #1 was coming down pit lane, Crackling , backfiring and rumbling and it comes to a stop , a Very happy person jumps out of the pas angers seat, with a Big cheesy grin on his face, Jamie Whincup gave this guy a ride of his life, another person jumps in and they are off again .
I noticed a guy walking in the general direction, big smile on his face, saying hello to everyone he passed, The Legend him self, Craig Lowndes . ( about now i felt like i was dreaming , These wicked race machine's , the current V8 Supercar Champ , and then , the guy who has one everything there is to win in the V8 Supercar's , The Guy who has won Bathurst 4 times, and that is just to start with,
I started to feel a lump in my throat, and I felt nervous, ( to be honest , since i was told about this melanoma lung cancer thing, I have not been nervous, not even with the skydiving, or putting the Team Huka Honda Ford Falcon into the kitty litter)but now ,I was,
The person inline in front of me jumped into the #888 Team Vodafone Falcon, the car started and they took off. I started to think, what is going through that guy's mind, hmmmm, stuff that , what is going through my mind, my pulse was increased and i felt a bit uncomfortable because of the heat,
The Crackling of the 635 Horse Powered Ford coming down the pit lane, Back firing, spitting and just rumbling, Awesome, The car come's to a stop, the engine switched off, and the door's open, Out come's a guy with a look of amazement on his face,
The Race engineer called my name and I moved to the car, Looking at the spiderweb type roll cage to weave the body through and then getting into the seat, So i just jumped in, leg's in first then slid the body in,Pushing my self back into the seat and finding the harness. as the crew started to strap me in , the Person next to me spoke up and said, Heya Going, ( Holy Smoke , I thought to my self, He just spoke to me, lol ) I told him who i was, and i was here for the ride of my life, With that , he said, I hope your hanging on, The doors closed and he started the mighty powerful racing engine, We cruised down pit lane at the speed limit of 40 km/h , then all of a sudden, His foot slam's the accelerator, 2nd gear 3rd gear, then started to turn for the first corner, 4 gear then 5th , aiming for turn 2 , down to 4th gear, powering through the corner and slightly drifting out of the corner, Plucking 5th gear and foot still flat , hitting 6th gear and getting up to about 230 km/h then Hard on the breaks , down to 75km/h and 2nd gear for turn 3, foot hard on the gas again and 3rd gear, then into 4th, putting the car into turn 4, getting the whole car to slide and hit a little bit of curb at the apex, the car still sliding and so in control Craig kept the flow going and out of turn 5. Then hard on the gas again up to turn 6. The hard on the breaks and slow in to this one , the gradually on the gas to get fast out, 2nd , 3rd , 4th, 5th gear up to turn 1, back into 4th gear , bumpy on the breaks and then more gas, and up to 5th gear, , dab the break's again and down to 4th, aiming for a late Apex on turn 2 and hoping the nervous rear end dose not step out.Hard on the gas, picking each gear with speed and precision as we hit the back striate and climbing up to our max speed of 248 KM/h ,
Holy smoke, what a rush, The G force when he hit the gas for the first time was INSANE , the smooth driving and the talent of the Legend behind the wheel made that one Lap I will Never Never Forget
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Post Freedive Comp and Pre Craig Lowndes Meeting
Well the Comp is over, and oh my goodness, My little story has started to go around the freedive world, I have had a huge amount of freediver's contacting me, what a wicked bunch of people they are, yes you , you know who you are, And a Huge thank you to Blue Seventy for providing me with the swim suit and swim skin (T shirt's, Gear Bag ) And to Central Freedive (spearfishing and freediving school )
Well here is a snippet from Scoop about the comp
Kiwi Freedivers smash National and World records
Kiwi Freedivers competing at this weekends Wellington Winter Champs hosted by Lazy Seals freediving club at Porirua Aquatic Centre, Wow'd the crowd with sensational performances, including 2 that exceed the current world records.
Guy Brew, current national record holder for Static Apnea, extended that record, his 3rd in a row to 9min 4 seconds from 8:47s, Suzy Osler a former NZ record holder who returned to the sport in May of this year after a 4 year break, set a new 'Dynamic With Fins' National Record of 188m. Osler, who is sponsored by BlueSeventy, celebrated her new record saying " I'm back!"
Dave Mullins, current world record holder in 'Dynamic No fins' at 213m - made a clean exit from a 232m dive, setting a new National record, and Kathryn McPhee, also the current womens world record holder in 'Dynamic No Fins' at 151m, exited her dive at 152m. While both of these dives exceed the current world records, they only qualify for National record status, as the judges present at the competition are not able to ratify World records...................
Like wow , how impressive is that, Imagine being there, watching these amazing athletes actually doing this, I was so so amazed and blown away, you really have to be there to believe it .
So this weekend I'm off to meet V8 Supercar Legend.... Craig Lowndes .
Now, if you remember when I read the letter out on air, after driving the Team Huka Honda Racing Ford Falcon around the Taupo Motorsport Park. I screamed, (yup I screamed,) I was having problems reading the letter as my mouth dried up and I got a lump in my throat, How Excited was I , How Excited Am I . Im still buzzing, and can not wait to get to the Queensland Raceway on Monday to meet the legend and get taken for a mega blast around the track, It's not very often you get to meet legend's and for the lovely people that arranged this opportunity , I can not thank you enough.
so I'm scrounging up as much money as I can, to get some memorabilia and have it signed. Big Thank You to everyone that has helped with this journey.
If anyone out there wish's to talk more about melanoma or a mole they might have and wish to ask questions about it or just a general question , I have started an email account for this,
nzbucketlist@gmail.com
I look forward to hearing from you , and thank you for your support
Cheers
Darrell
Well here is a snippet from Scoop about the comp
Kiwi Freedivers smash National and World records
Kiwi Freedivers competing at this weekends Wellington Winter Champs hosted by Lazy Seals freediving club at Porirua Aquatic Centre, Wow'd the crowd with sensational performances, including 2 that exceed the current world records.
Guy Brew, current national record holder for Static Apnea, extended that record, his 3rd in a row to 9min 4 seconds from 8:47s, Suzy Osler a former NZ record holder who returned to the sport in May of this year after a 4 year break, set a new 'Dynamic With Fins' National Record of 188m. Osler, who is sponsored by BlueSeventy, celebrated her new record saying " I'm back!"
Dave Mullins, current world record holder in 'Dynamic No fins' at 213m - made a clean exit from a 232m dive, setting a new National record, and Kathryn McPhee, also the current womens world record holder in 'Dynamic No Fins' at 151m, exited her dive at 152m. While both of these dives exceed the current world records, they only qualify for National record status, as the judges present at the competition are not able to ratify World records...................
Like wow , how impressive is that, Imagine being there, watching these amazing athletes actually doing this, I was so so amazed and blown away, you really have to be there to believe it .
So this weekend I'm off to meet V8 Supercar Legend.... Craig Lowndes .
Now, if you remember when I read the letter out on air, after driving the Team Huka Honda Racing Ford Falcon around the Taupo Motorsport Park. I screamed, (yup I screamed,) I was having problems reading the letter as my mouth dried up and I got a lump in my throat, How Excited was I , How Excited Am I . Im still buzzing, and can not wait to get to the Queensland Raceway on Monday to meet the legend and get taken for a mega blast around the track, It's not very often you get to meet legend's and for the lovely people that arranged this opportunity , I can not thank you enough.
so I'm scrounging up as much money as I can, to get some memorabilia and have it signed. Big Thank You to everyone that has helped with this journey.
If anyone out there wish's to talk more about melanoma or a mole they might have and wish to ask questions about it or just a general question , I have started an email account for this,
nzbucketlist@gmail.com
I look forward to hearing from you , and thank you for your support
Cheers
Darrell
Day 2 Of FreeDive Comp
Oh my goddess, if day 1 way bad for nerves today was worse, I had more nerve's than there is spaghetti in Italy, I was crapping myself, I was first up out of the Recky group, Ok i can handle that, but when your in the water, looking down the lane, and all the judge's , camera people, 2020 camera person, Bronwyn, my family, sister, Brother in law, and all the people to do with the comp, LOOKING AT ME , why me, it's just me, Yeah ok, i know, my mission to get my message out about the killer cancer.
so here I was trying to calm myself for the dive, I aimed for a dive of 75 metres, something i have never done before, I had hit the 50 mark a dozen times , but nothing further, so this was my goal, I was going to nail the 75mtr mark and show it who is boss, Well the time judge called 1 minute, and i was so shaking , Kerian, got my attention and reminded me to put my goggles on, and to breath deep and slow, the 20 second call came and i emptied my lungs, and slowly started to fill them up . breathing in slowly and in control, trying to get as much in my little lungs as i could. 5 4 3 2 1 Official time started I now had 10 seconds to be underwater, Oh Crap, I took my last gulp of air, and went for if, To the bottom of the pool I went, arm's stretched out and trying to make my body as streamlined as I could, It felt like it took such a long time to do the first 25 metres, I got to the end , Turned around and headed back, I felt good, really good, and this time the time did not seam to take to long, I did the 50, now im turning and it was a struggle to turn, I wasted alot of energy turning , I pushed off again, Now into the distance I have not been before, That was it I felt like I had to come up, so I did , I was Short of what I wanted to do, But I had been further than what I had every been before, by 7 mtr's. I popped up at the side of the pool and OH My GOODNESS, There was everyone, Staring at me, How scary is this, Kerian Told me to breath, take my goggles off, breath and do the ok protocol , which I did, Everyone still just staring, Nothing was said, it felt like forever for 30 second's to pass.Then The Judges gave me a White Card ( a Pass ) and then it when loud, charing, Clapping People coming from all sides to congratulate me, Then Tracey the Judge said Congradulation's I am the Only and First person they know of who has swam that far with my condition, ( I have my own Record ) How cool is that,
I looked around and saw my sweet Bron standing there with a huge smile on her face , and i felt a tear in my eye, i was so happy she was smiling and I could she how proud she was of me, Joy my sister was next that came into view, with a big as smile on her face, then Kerian ,my nephew Kyle, then my parents , and then my new friends I had made at the comp, I was totally blown away,
I feel so so lucky to have all these wonderful people in my life , and everyday , another wonderful person pop's into my life, I am so blessed
Thank you so so much to everyone
Stay tuned for the next Adventure
so here I was trying to calm myself for the dive, I aimed for a dive of 75 metres, something i have never done before, I had hit the 50 mark a dozen times , but nothing further, so this was my goal, I was going to nail the 75mtr mark and show it who is boss, Well the time judge called 1 minute, and i was so shaking , Kerian, got my attention and reminded me to put my goggles on, and to breath deep and slow, the 20 second call came and i emptied my lungs, and slowly started to fill them up . breathing in slowly and in control, trying to get as much in my little lungs as i could. 5 4 3 2 1 Official time started I now had 10 seconds to be underwater, Oh Crap, I took my last gulp of air, and went for if, To the bottom of the pool I went, arm's stretched out and trying to make my body as streamlined as I could, It felt like it took such a long time to do the first 25 metres, I got to the end , Turned around and headed back, I felt good, really good, and this time the time did not seam to take to long, I did the 50, now im turning and it was a struggle to turn, I wasted alot of energy turning , I pushed off again, Now into the distance I have not been before, That was it I felt like I had to come up, so I did , I was Short of what I wanted to do, But I had been further than what I had every been before, by 7 mtr's. I popped up at the side of the pool and OH My GOODNESS, There was everyone, Staring at me, How scary is this, Kerian Told me to breath, take my goggles off, breath and do the ok protocol , which I did, Everyone still just staring, Nothing was said, it felt like forever for 30 second's to pass.Then The Judges gave me a White Card ( a Pass ) and then it when loud, charing, Clapping People coming from all sides to congratulate me, Then Tracey the Judge said Congradulation's I am the Only and First person they know of who has swam that far with my condition, ( I have my own Record ) How cool is that,
I looked around and saw my sweet Bron standing there with a huge smile on her face , and i felt a tear in my eye, i was so happy she was smiling and I could she how proud she was of me, Joy my sister was next that came into view, with a big as smile on her face, then Kerian ,my nephew Kyle, then my parents , and then my new friends I had made at the comp, I was totally blown away,
I feel so so lucky to have all these wonderful people in my life , and everyday , another wonderful person pop's into my life, I am so blessed
Thank you so so much to everyone
Stay tuned for the next Adventure
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Day 1 Of FreeDive Comp
Oh my , well I turned up there, and the nerves started to hit me, I just saw myself on the front page of the Dominion Post, then a full page spread inside of it too.
Not long after Bron and I got there my sister and her troop turned up. We all did the safety meeting thing and there everybody got told that 20/20 will be here tomorrow filming, ( because of me )and they all were told of my condition :) ( yay )and yep everyone looked at me , I felt about this big LOL.
So first up is the professionals and they were doing a static {face down in the water not moving, and seeing how long you can hold your breath}
Well not to make me more nervous, the first guy up , did a record 9.03 .....
THAT'S NINE MINUTE'S AND THREE SECOND'S
Wholly moley ,that's so freaking Amazing,
Then the next dude to put more pressure on me was in the Dynamic class with no Fins ( swimming along under the water for as far as possible with no fin's ) well he did an totally amazing 232 meter's , NO WORD OF A LIE, and that was a world record, {but could not be called a world record because NZ dose not have any qualified World record judge's}
Well with all this going around in my head, the ladies had their go, Kathryn did No fin's and bet her own record {she is a world record holder for that class ) and Suzy { after not training for the last 3 odd year's ) did dynamic with fin's and did a new national record.
So here is everybody kicking butt, and my nerve's are about as big as the Statue of Liberty.
Today I was only doing a Static, I really wanted to aim for the 2 min mark, (I have not really trained for this one ) Kerian,(my brother in law ) was my coach. So here we are, in the water with my New Blue Seventy P Zereo 3 Wet suit on, Kerian is giving me a few last words of advice and said to only listen to his voice and try and
R E L A X and enjoy it, All the mean time, there is a time judge shouting out the time left before I Have to be under the water, 2 other judge's just staring at me, and one guy with a dam video camera ( oh I am getting so sick of camera's lol )
Well the time came and away i went, doing a Static, Very exciting stuff really, just face down in the water, relaxing, holding my breath for as long as i can, as the time ticked by I was so so nervous and could not relax, i just could not let myself go into the relaxed state i wanted to be in, and one minute and forty seconds later, that was it, Hmmm not quite the two minutes i was wanting, but that is was i was able to do, well i came out and had to do the surface protocol ( oh my.. how scary . ) 3 judge's. 1 video guy, and everyone else to do with the event just looking at me, hmmm, hello i do not feel very comfortable, so goggle's off, i said im ok, and for 30 more seconds everybody just stared ...... hmmmm what the heck is happening, then the time judge shout's 30 seconds.... and everyone is clapping and congradulating me.
And Tracey one of the judge's said, White card, you are now the new record holder of static with my condition :) how sweet.
I still can not believe how much nerve's played a big part in that , oh my goodness,
what will the next day bring ???
Not long after Bron and I got there my sister and her troop turned up. We all did the safety meeting thing and there everybody got told that 20/20 will be here tomorrow filming, ( because of me )and they all were told of my condition :) ( yay )and yep everyone looked at me , I felt about this big LOL.
So first up is the professionals and they were doing a static {face down in the water not moving, and seeing how long you can hold your breath}
Well not to make me more nervous, the first guy up , did a record 9.03 .....
THAT'S NINE MINUTE'S AND THREE SECOND'S
Wholly moley ,that's so freaking Amazing,
Then the next dude to put more pressure on me was in the Dynamic class with no Fins ( swimming along under the water for as far as possible with no fin's ) well he did an totally amazing 232 meter's , NO WORD OF A LIE, and that was a world record, {but could not be called a world record because NZ dose not have any qualified World record judge's}
Well with all this going around in my head, the ladies had their go, Kathryn did No fin's and bet her own record {she is a world record holder for that class ) and Suzy { after not training for the last 3 odd year's ) did dynamic with fin's and did a new national record.
So here is everybody kicking butt, and my nerve's are about as big as the Statue of Liberty.
Today I was only doing a Static, I really wanted to aim for the 2 min mark, (I have not really trained for this one ) Kerian,(my brother in law ) was my coach. So here we are, in the water with my New Blue Seventy P Zereo 3 Wet suit on, Kerian is giving me a few last words of advice and said to only listen to his voice and try and
R E L A X and enjoy it, All the mean time, there is a time judge shouting out the time left before I Have to be under the water, 2 other judge's just staring at me, and one guy with a dam video camera ( oh I am getting so sick of camera's lol )
Well the time came and away i went, doing a Static, Very exciting stuff really, just face down in the water, relaxing, holding my breath for as long as i can, as the time ticked by I was so so nervous and could not relax, i just could not let myself go into the relaxed state i wanted to be in, and one minute and forty seconds later, that was it, Hmmm not quite the two minutes i was wanting, but that is was i was able to do, well i came out and had to do the surface protocol ( oh my.. how scary . ) 3 judge's. 1 video guy, and everyone else to do with the event just looking at me, hmmm, hello i do not feel very comfortable, so goggle's off, i said im ok, and for 30 more seconds everybody just stared ...... hmmmm what the heck is happening, then the time judge shout's 30 seconds.... and everyone is clapping and congradulating me.
And Tracey one of the judge's said, White card, you are now the new record holder of static with my condition :) how sweet.
I still can not believe how much nerve's played a big part in that , oh my goodness,
what will the next day bring ???
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
FreeDive Comp. Pre Comp & my Thought's
Hello to all my followers! Thank you so much for reading my little story, and remember I would love your feedback! (there is a comments section at the bottom where you can leave feedback)
Well .. it is Tuesday and on Saturday I will be doing my first Freedive Competition.
This comp is doing lengths underwater and statics, not depth , But oh my goodness, I have the jitter's already, I need to be doing more training, but the last 2 day's i have seem to run out of time!
Anyways this may be the only time i can do a comp, who know's what is going to happen to me , what will I be like soon? how will I feel? can I breath properly? will I be able to walk to the end of the driveway with out gasping for air?, I honestly do not know, do you know ??? if you do , please let me know, any heads up will be wicked thank you!
So this Freedive thing , how did it start , like.. why the hell would someone want to push their body and mind to find out how far one can go or how deep one can go or how long one can hold their breath. Its freaken crazy, it is, But try it and you will find out how addictive this amazing sport is. For one, it is soooooo peaceful,and realxing. it strengthens your mind, it teach's us to use our lung's and in turn make's us feel better.
This is my little part of the world where I can escape and have nothing on my mind, (well if I do have something on my mind, I will need to breathe, and 2 metres below the surface, thats not something you want to do in a hurry) lol
So , how do i feel,?
I feel good at the moment. I honestly do , my lungs feel normal , so I suppose that is good. I have 10000000000000 thing's running around in my head and sometimes I do not know what way is up, or down. I feel on good day's that there is totally nothing wrong with me and I feel so so good, and feel guilty alot for the people that have helped me and I hope they do not think that I am taking them for a ride, I honestly am not taking people for a ride, hell no!
A lot goes through my mind about all this cancer shit, I freaken hate it, I really do. We all know someone, or a friend knew someone that had died from cancer. I have known 2 people that have died from cancer, One was lung cancer {from smoking}, when I was about 12 or 13,
Then about 2 years ago my Grandfather died from Melanoma lesions on his brain, And like any other person, I said it will never happen to me , I'm superman I have bet this before , I will kick it's butt again. Grrr me tough, big and strong, 6Ft tall and bloody bulletproof ... I AM MAN
Well blow me down and call me a whimp, I am scared, Honestly I am, yep big old me , is shit scared, yep , put me in front of our rugby team , the NZ blacks , or all blacks, whatever they are called, and I will take them on, No Fear, but those few words , "there is nothing we can do for you" , far out man, thats hit home. Dam, big time I tell ya.
So I'm scared, people say I'm brave, doing all this stuff and trying to spreed the word about how deadly melanoma is, how sneaky it is,but honestly , I'm scared, I do not want to leave people behind, I really really do not want to leave Bronywn, I promised bronwyn that I wanted her to die first, so I could go through the heart ache of loosing her, not her having to go through the heartache of her loosing me. This is so so not fair, if I only could change things! Was it my first operation that went wrong, if he cut more diameter around that bloody mole would I not have this? If I did not get lost in the system, would i not have this? so much is going through my head. and yep, sometime's, I just wish there was a drain plug in my head, just so I can empty that crap in there.
Hey .. sorry this a sad and deep read, but this blog is for all to know what goes on in the life of someone who has , what I have, {Damn i need a drink . lol}
Thanks for reading, I promise the next one will be more exciting
Well .. it is Tuesday and on Saturday I will be doing my first Freedive Competition.
This comp is doing lengths underwater and statics, not depth , But oh my goodness, I have the jitter's already, I need to be doing more training, but the last 2 day's i have seem to run out of time!
Anyways this may be the only time i can do a comp, who know's what is going to happen to me , what will I be like soon? how will I feel? can I breath properly? will I be able to walk to the end of the driveway with out gasping for air?, I honestly do not know, do you know ??? if you do , please let me know, any heads up will be wicked thank you!
So this Freedive thing , how did it start , like.. why the hell would someone want to push their body and mind to find out how far one can go or how deep one can go or how long one can hold their breath. Its freaken crazy, it is, But try it and you will find out how addictive this amazing sport is. For one, it is soooooo peaceful,and realxing. it strengthens your mind, it teach's us to use our lung's and in turn make's us feel better.
This is my little part of the world where I can escape and have nothing on my mind, (well if I do have something on my mind, I will need to breathe, and 2 metres below the surface, thats not something you want to do in a hurry) lol
So , how do i feel,?
I feel good at the moment. I honestly do , my lungs feel normal , so I suppose that is good. I have 10000000000000 thing's running around in my head and sometimes I do not know what way is up, or down. I feel on good day's that there is totally nothing wrong with me and I feel so so good, and feel guilty alot for the people that have helped me and I hope they do not think that I am taking them for a ride, I honestly am not taking people for a ride, hell no!
A lot goes through my mind about all this cancer shit, I freaken hate it, I really do. We all know someone, or a friend knew someone that had died from cancer. I have known 2 people that have died from cancer, One was lung cancer {from smoking}, when I was about 12 or 13,
Then about 2 years ago my Grandfather died from Melanoma lesions on his brain, And like any other person, I said it will never happen to me , I'm superman I have bet this before , I will kick it's butt again. Grrr me tough, big and strong, 6Ft tall and bloody bulletproof ... I AM MAN
Well blow me down and call me a whimp, I am scared, Honestly I am, yep big old me , is shit scared, yep , put me in front of our rugby team , the NZ blacks , or all blacks, whatever they are called, and I will take them on, No Fear, but those few words , "there is nothing we can do for you" , far out man, thats hit home. Dam, big time I tell ya.
So I'm scared, people say I'm brave, doing all this stuff and trying to spreed the word about how deadly melanoma is, how sneaky it is,but honestly , I'm scared, I do not want to leave people behind, I really really do not want to leave Bronywn, I promised bronwyn that I wanted her to die first, so I could go through the heart ache of loosing her, not her having to go through the heartache of her loosing me. This is so so not fair, if I only could change things! Was it my first operation that went wrong, if he cut more diameter around that bloody mole would I not have this? If I did not get lost in the system, would i not have this? so much is going through my head. and yep, sometime's, I just wish there was a drain plug in my head, just so I can empty that crap in there.
Hey .. sorry this a sad and deep read, but this blog is for all to know what goes on in the life of someone who has , what I have, {Damn i need a drink . lol}
Thanks for reading, I promise the next one will be more exciting
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Other People
You know, it's hard to remember all the people that have helped me and if I have forgotten to mention you, please forgive me, I do not mean to offend you .
Well when I was a rug rat, growing up, doing what little kid's do, sometimes I think I dreamed about what did I want to be ???? A Fireman, driving the big shinny red truck, putting out fire's and saving kittens stuck in the tree's.
Or a Policeman, Chasing down the bad people, and arresting them, or a fighter pilot or a space man
or a Racing car driver, { hmmm the good old day's when dreaming was free and your imagination ran wild and free} why do we not think or dream this way anymore. I feel we Have to conform, we have to do this we have to do that, why can't we do the things that make's us happy all the time, some people do and they are lucky, but in my opinion 90% of us do not.
As we grow up we have Hero's, we all do most are fictional and they give us some sense of hope , hope that there will be something better, ( oh the teenage years ) lol
Anyway I have had a good childhood, I was able to do lot of the thing I wanted to do, the sport I want to do and so forth, my parents always did the best they could to make sure I was happy and had fun, and I did, I did have fun, and I did do the sport's and so forth as I wanted.
Their support has not stopped, Im old now {35 }and they still do support me, Thank you for that.
My other parents { my in law's to be } have been very supportive in many ways to and I cannot thank them enough either,
My Sister and Brother in law , you both have helped me in so many ways and I am so lucky to have such a wonderful Sister and Brother In Law Thank you both.
My Ex Boss Steve, now this dude helped me after I had my radiation, He sent me to his naturopath
in Hamilton, Twice, and took care of all the medication I needed too, This helped me so much and brought more of a balance to me, I felt better in my body, mind and felt more energized .Once again Steve , thank you so much .
What will I write about next, stay tuned, Im have to be at the Radio Station at @ 7.30 , Oh my goodness. I so need my beauty Sleep ,
Well when I was a rug rat, growing up, doing what little kid's do, sometimes I think I dreamed about what did I want to be ???? A Fireman, driving the big shinny red truck, putting out fire's and saving kittens stuck in the tree's.
Or a Policeman, Chasing down the bad people, and arresting them, or a fighter pilot or a space man
or a Racing car driver, { hmmm the good old day's when dreaming was free and your imagination ran wild and free} why do we not think or dream this way anymore. I feel we Have to conform, we have to do this we have to do that, why can't we do the things that make's us happy all the time, some people do and they are lucky, but in my opinion 90% of us do not.
As we grow up we have Hero's, we all do most are fictional and they give us some sense of hope , hope that there will be something better, ( oh the teenage years ) lol
Anyway I have had a good childhood, I was able to do lot of the thing I wanted to do, the sport I want to do and so forth, my parents always did the best they could to make sure I was happy and had fun, and I did, I did have fun, and I did do the sport's and so forth as I wanted.
Their support has not stopped, Im old now {35 }and they still do support me, Thank you for that.
My other parents { my in law's to be } have been very supportive in many ways to and I cannot thank them enough either,
My Sister and Brother in law , you both have helped me in so many ways and I am so lucky to have such a wonderful Sister and Brother In Law Thank you both.
My Ex Boss Steve, now this dude helped me after I had my radiation, He sent me to his naturopath
in Hamilton, Twice, and took care of all the medication I needed too, This helped me so much and brought more of a balance to me, I felt better in my body, mind and felt more energized .Once again Steve , thank you so much .
What will I write about next, stay tuned, Im have to be at the Radio Station at @ 7.30 , Oh my goodness. I so need my beauty Sleep ,
Where I Get my Strength From
Where I Get my Strength From
We All know the saying, …..Behind a great man,, is an awesome Woman,
I have no problem saying I believe this.
In all situations we need support, in everything we do , we need support, and in so many way's.
Myself, I have needed a lot of support, and without my special , lovely and Amazing Bronwyn
I honestly do not think I would be here today, She has been more than my “Rock” since I meet her she has been to 2 operation's (the first only after meeting me 2-3 weeks before) all the scan's and Oncology appointments and the dreaded radiation.
It is truly heart warming to have such an amazing person by my side with all of this happening and her strength to keep me going, I can never thank you enough Bronwyn, I love you so so much.
So , what is it like for her, Being there for me with all of that crap going on, my Bad mood's . me being a pig head, arrogant , grumpy, and sometimes nice and loving, it must be so hard for someone to handle all that and still smile every time I look at her, What an amazing Person you are.
But now the card is on the other hand, believe this , “ I HAVE A EASY RUN NOW “ yeah I do . I am dying yes, it might be painful for me, it might be so horrible for me, I may just go quick, or live for 50 years more ...we do not know yet.
But what I know is, I have to be there for her now, she does not have to be strong for me, I have to be strong for her, People are allowed to cry , Bronwyn is allowed to cry , my sister is allowed to, my parents, bron's parents , my brother in law's , my friends , and You are allowed to cry , even in front of me.
People do not need to be strong for me , I want to be strong for them, , so please feel free to be sad, please feel free to say what's on your mind, there is no need to be quiet around me, and yes ask any question you want.
So people that talk to people that know me, please do not say , you have to be strong for Darrell
I ( Darrell ) has to be there and support you, and especially my sweet Bronwyn.
Thank you all for reading my little story , and hopefully Bron might do one or two little blog's to tell her side of it.
Stay tuned
Darrell
We All know the saying, …..Behind a great man,, is an awesome Woman,
I have no problem saying I believe this.
In all situations we need support, in everything we do , we need support, and in so many way's.
Myself, I have needed a lot of support, and without my special , lovely and Amazing Bronwyn
I honestly do not think I would be here today, She has been more than my “Rock” since I meet her she has been to 2 operation's (the first only after meeting me 2-3 weeks before) all the scan's and Oncology appointments and the dreaded radiation.
It is truly heart warming to have such an amazing person by my side with all of this happening and her strength to keep me going, I can never thank you enough Bronwyn, I love you so so much.
So , what is it like for her, Being there for me with all of that crap going on, my Bad mood's . me being a pig head, arrogant , grumpy, and sometimes nice and loving, it must be so hard for someone to handle all that and still smile every time I look at her, What an amazing Person you are.
But now the card is on the other hand, believe this , “ I HAVE A EASY RUN NOW “ yeah I do . I am dying yes, it might be painful for me, it might be so horrible for me, I may just go quick, or live for 50 years more ...we do not know yet.
But what I know is, I have to be there for her now, she does not have to be strong for me, I have to be strong for her, People are allowed to cry , Bronwyn is allowed to cry , my sister is allowed to, my parents, bron's parents , my brother in law's , my friends , and You are allowed to cry , even in front of me.
People do not need to be strong for me , I want to be strong for them, , so please feel free to be sad, please feel free to say what's on your mind, there is no need to be quiet around me, and yes ask any question you want.
So people that talk to people that know me, please do not say , you have to be strong for Darrell
I ( Darrell ) has to be there and support you, and especially my sweet Bronwyn.
Thank you all for reading my little story , and hopefully Bron might do one or two little blog's to tell her side of it.
Stay tuned
Darrell
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
What I have done so far.... Part 3
A Huge thank you to Team Huka Honda Racing. Kylie and Glen Clarke.
These wonderful people let me loose in their NZV8 Series Ford
Falcon
Did they really know what they where doing, letting me drive this beast of a race car around the full Taupo Motorsport Race Track,
I honestly do not think they new how excited I was and how much I like speed.
Well I turned up, only to find that 3 out of the four people there I actually knew,
Kylie and her sister Tracey and a rat bag named Mark, lol { he's a good bugga really } and Glen who I had not meet before , so we looked around the car and went over a few thing's, had a few laughs and some old time joke's.
It was really cool just hanging out with wicked, friendly people,It was time to suit up , put the helmet on and get down to business, { sweeeeettttt }. After climbing through and around the roll cage, we went to put the harness on, just to find out , somebody { Mark} put it in the wrong way, Lol so with that all sorted Glen took me for a few lap's and showed me the line's and breaking point's and how fast this beast could go.
After that , we swapped seat's started up the mighty Ford again, and I drove us out, did a slow lap to get the feel of things, markers and so forth, then started to put the power on, Well, um do you really want to know what happened ?????
Yahoo we are off again, getting my confidence up finishing off that lap, going along Pit straight again, turning into turn 1, a bit wide , power down again coming up to turn 2, was not far enough to the left, braked late and the car did not glide around the corner, it was messy, up to turn's 3 and 4 still missing brake marker's, car was not on the correct line coming up to turn 5, I was carrying to much speed into the corner, I tried to brake and turn at the same time, and then all of a sudden , the beautiful clean Team Huka Honda racing Ford Falcon went off the track, onto the grass and ending up buried in the kitty litter.
My heart stopped, my mouth was dry, I was thinking “oh no, how much damage have I done, is the front splitter , the side skirts, rear diffuser, brake's , suspension, air intakes” , all this started to run around in my head, and I felt bad, real bad, I have damaged someone else's baby, someone else's racing car, my heart , just about stopped, Then Glen said , You Alright???? I was alright , but worried about the car, He said ‘no prob’, we'll get it towed out and give it a clean out, check for damage and go out again. I was amazed how calm and relaxed Glen was about this , { I would have been rather peeved if it was my car , just goes to show you what sort of a wicked person Glen is }
Along came the Taupo Motorsport Park ute to tow us out , well there was a few joke's being made, as he saw it all happen , we dug the car out , got her back onto the track and Glen drove back to Pit lane. I must say , there sure was a lot of kitty litter in the car, Glen and Mark went over the car and cleaned it up, meanwhile I was being video interviewed by my sister { for
20/20 } about my off, making me feel worse. Then I was informed , that the car has NEVER been off into the Kitty litter before, which just boosted my spirits big time! Glen said he was saying , brake, brake, brake, BRAKE!!, but with all the excitement, noise, and concentrating so much I did not hear him, I still can not say sorry enough for that!
But Now I have a lovely Certificate for ‘Excellence in taking the Team Huka Honda Racing Ford Falcon off the Track and into the kitty litter ‘, { thanks Kylie and Glen }
Well , the car was ready again to go out, we got some hand signals sorted out for Glens instructions to me and we are off again, first lap slow again, so re-learn the track, then faster and faster , between Glens hand signals and the power and handling of the car we where doing wicked, the car and I were not fighting like in the first session and it was so smooth, and so much fun, I was so buzzing,
I can not thank Kylie and Glen from team Huka Honda Racing enough for the wicked experience……You guys rock!!!!
Well at the end of it, Brendon from Classic Hits was there and asked a few question about the day, then asked Glen how he thought how I went. After that Brendon handed me an envelope and asked me to read the letter inside,
Wow , I opened it, My mouth went dry, I found it hard to read the word's written on the page….........
It was a letter from Craig Lowndes, inviting me to come for a hot lap with him, More to come on that.
Team Huka Honda Racing.. Thank you all so much, I can not wait to catch up with you all again
What I have done so far... Part 2
The next wonderful experience I had was Gliding. The Wonderful People at the Taupo Gliding Club, Martin, Trev and John gave me about a 15 min flight in a twin seater Glider, Oh my, what a wicked way to see the world, I was amazed at how peaceful and relaxing it was up there.
So after we got disconnected from the tow plane you feel free, is was so cool, anyways we went looking for some Thermals to get a bit more lift, there was not much out there, so Martin decided to do some Loops, { wicked } yep we did a few loops one after another and it was sooooo cool,
After that we looked for more thermals and the picking was slim, so martin gave me the controls , Oh wicked, they are so easy to fly { he said i could get my licence in a week } I flew for about 5-8 minute's and then we touched down.
What I have done so far
What I have done so far has been so amazing and I'm still speechless .....
So .. First up was Skydiving
This was the start of it, I got a call from Brendon from Classic Hit's , He wanted me to go live on air and talk about my Cancer and my bucket list, so when the song finished playing we went live chatting about it and then he went through the Bucket list, I was trying to think what he missed off it , when he told me
He said that 20/20 and Classic hits will be filming and Audio recording me .... When I jump out a the Taupo Tandem Skydiving Plane at 15000 Feet.
So Brendon turned up at my place, and took me to the airport, The guys at TTS are so wicked, friendly and amped!
After a short run through of how things are going to work and so on it was off to the plane, it was a picture perfect day, we got up 15000 feet and jumped... the free fall was such a freaking rush . it is so amazing , the speed {over 200 km/h } ....WICKED .... { I so love speed and that sort of speed is Wicked } and then when the parachute came out, Oh my , it is the second most beautiful sight I have ever seen { the first is Bron :) }
here I was , just cruising down to earth with no clouds around, just a few other jumpers, from up there I could see Napier, Mt Maunganui, lake Rotorua , Mt Eggmont , it was so clear, so still , so amazing.
We landed nice and gently and my first word's were something like , when is the next plane up , I wanna go again .lol
This was a supprise for Dad's 65th birthday, Dad & my sister did no know anything about it , so when we blacked out the windows on the car and told them to get in the back, they were a bit worried, He He He.
Anyway's , when we got out there and they realised what was happing, My Brother-in-Law and I dropped another supprise, we jacked it up that Mum would be driving as well.
So we watched a video and suited up , we did 2 laps as a hot lap sort of thing to show corner marker's and breaking marker's , stuff like that.
Then we got into our chosen car's with our driving instructor's and Unleashed on the track. Did a slow lap to get use to it, and the markers , and then faster , faster and faster, it was cool, {but alas, we had done all our lap's } so after we got out and did more media interview stuff , we talked about dong it again sometime, it was so much fun, it was mentioned to the people in charge and we paid some more money and did it again, but the kind people at FCR covered my cost to do it again , it was wicked fun and Lee my instructor was brilliant and helped me improved my lap time buy a lot , Thanks lee and thanks to all the team at Formula Challenge Racing.
More to come tomorow, :)
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